Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. Keep losing your keys? Find a ridiculous container to put them in. You will thank me later. I found this little chicken dish, which I affectionally named Chicken Little (I know, ridiculously original), at Value Village for like three bucks last year. I placed it in my entryway specifically to hold my keys because I was having so much trouble remembering where I put them and I was constantly running behind. My feeling was that because the container was so adorably dorky, I couldn't possibly not look at it every time I walked by - which would make it the perfect place to put something I needed to remember several times per day. It worked! Not just for me, for my kids, too. I hear a lot less "Have you seen my keys?" "Do you know where the keys are?" and a lot more "Chicken Little." And when I think of Chicken Little, I giggle. So make sure it's a container that makes you feel good. How do you remember your keys? -Jaren

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. Now before everyone comes at me for promoting a coping mechanism (and not therapy) to deal with big emotions (which, by the way, I love and do recommend and have spent years doing), let me first say this: We, in my household, have zero issues feeling our emotions. I have always encouraged my kids to express their emotions because I'm a firm believer that if you do not, they can become trapped in the body, and according the work of Dr. John Sarno (author of The Mindbody Prescription), the risk of not expressing our emotions outweighs the benefits of keeping them to ourselves because we don't want to inconvenience anyone. Nuh uh. Not on my watch. What I do struggle with, more often than not, is getting stuck in big emotions. If I'm obsessing over something I'm bothered by, and I mean really having trouble processing my feelings and it's been dragging out - sometimes I need a little help stepping back to look at the bigger picture. Because I don't have a significant other, I don't usually have anyone to share my big feelings with in-the-moment, nor do I have anyone to check me and say "Okay, Jaren. You've been going on about your issue for awhile. Kinda feels like you're dragging it out. Maybe it's time for a reset?" So I figured out a way to help myself, no matter the situation: MENTAL HEALTH POSTERS. Ah, I love a reminder. Real subtle, Mom. Something about seeing charts, colors, and scientific explanations really allows me to pull back and look at the situation through a larger lens. One of my favorite posters is about the HALT technique - how to stop when you're in the middle of a meltdown by asking yourself if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I can't tell you how many times I've been pissed off about something only to realize I just needed a long nap and a hug. Thank god for my dog. (Let me tell you that in my 40s, I prioritize sleep over having a social life because peri-menopause is dragging my tolerance in the mud. Boy do I feel better now that I focus on sleep. Let's see how long this lasts, perimenopause.) I like to casually explain the posters to my kids when we are having dinner and they're in a good mood. They listen. So I'm leaving them up for the foreseeable future. Btw - you can find these all over Etsy, Temu, etc. Give them a try. How you handle meltdowns as a neurodivergent? -Jaren

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a part-time single, neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. In french. 5 Sacred Minutes of Sunlight I'm not sure if this particular thing I do makes my life easier so much as it makes it more enjoyable. But I guess when life is more enjoyable, it's somehow easier - and this little daily routine resets my soul. I struggle with transitions. I used to struggle heavily with hyper-focus, so being interrupted in order to take care of activities of daily living would sometimes send me into a fit of rage. Eventually, my rage transitioned into fear of leaving my apartment. If I could just stay in my apartment and focus without any interruptions, I wouldn't get mad. My poor husband at the time had to deal with an extraordinary amount of meltdowns each time I had to get on an airplane or just go run an errand. Ironically, even though I didn't like transitions (I've built up more of a tolerance, now), I have moved 30-something times in my life and I'm only 42 years old. What started as something I couldn't control (my father was in the business of house flipping to provide for us), turned into a coping mechanism for dealing with situations I wanted to leave behind. So picking up all of my belongings and schlepping them across town or across the country (as huge a transition as it always was) excited me. But leaving the house to run an errand? Cue the anxiety attacks. Weird. Perhaps because moving required time. I was prepared mentally on each moving day. I made lists of what and how to pack. I planned well in advance. I was prepared. An impromptu walk outside? Oh, god no. Not when I have so much to think about right now. Introducing 5-Minutes of Sunlight The dominant side of me wants everything to stay the same way forever and ever because it gives me a sense of control. She likes things planned and organized. The other side wants desperately to break free from the rules of society and live care-free. They used to battle each other daily until both sides agreed that taking in the sun for 5 minutes everyday was a good compromise. And that's how this whole thing started. Now it's one of the highlights of my day that isn't related to any of my labels: mom, friend, daughter, etc. In those 5 minutes, I get to expand my soul and become the wind and mountains, the ocean, the sand, the dirt, the pavement, the birds, the people... It sounds silly, but I savour every single second. My control-freak side appreciates that I don't have to leave the property line to do this activity, and the care-free side loves that I'm one with the elements, so...win/win. Now, what often starts off feeling like an irritating transition in my day ("Ugh, I have to take the dog to the park") always ends up being enjoyable. ("Wow, it's so beautiful outside".) So if you struggle to stop what you're doing and get out into the world, might I suggest starting small. Take 5 minutes a day to face the sun with your eyes closed. Between study sessions, after a fight with your teenager, or just because. No matter when you do it or for what reason, the warmth has benefits. How do you handle transitions? -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40s. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier.  I learned this from a wonderful ADHD coach named Minda and not only is it controversial, it's effective. It worked especially well for my kids during primary school, but continues to work in secondary school...and as an adult, it turns out. My kids often eat dinner immediately after school. Not at conventional dinner times. 3:30pm. 4pm. 4:30pm. I know. Early. WHA??? JAREN! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU? Turns out, I'm the kind who prefers calm over forcing my kids to eat at socially acceptable times. Anyhow, it's not like we could keep with up with tradition during the school week if we tried, what with our weird school schedules and all. So, back to eating ridiculously early. Not everyone can do this. If you work outside the home, this is near impossible unless your kids are older and you prep everything in advance so that all they have to do it warm it up. I have mostly worked from home, so I have been able to make it happen. Here's why eating dinner immediately after school is good for me and my kids: It calms us down My kids usually eat lunch around 11am. If they wait until 5 or 6pm for dinner, that's a long stretch. We get crabby in this household when our blood sugar gets too low, knowwhatImean? Why not have a snack? Because then they won't eat dinner. I don't know why it works that way, but it's obviously a law designed to drive parents mad. Reduces the amount of fighting in the home When our nervous systems are calm, we fight less. And when I say we , I mean the kids, thought I do join in from time to time. Improves our listening ears Because we have more patience now that our tummies are full, I don't have to repeat 496,828,475 times that chores need to be done. More like 11 times. And that's more reasonable. Reduces the frequency of meltdowns You know what's not great for perimenopause? Overwhelm. You know what overwhelms me more than anything? My kids having meltdowns because they're overwhelmed. It's an ugly cycle. When we're all immediately fed, we have the ability stop ourselves at level four instead of reaching a level ten on the ohmygodwhatshappening scale. Ensures my kids will eat an entire balanced meal Heaven forbid someone give my kid a snack after school. It completely destroys their dinner, no matter how small it is, and then everyone is irritable. When offered a big meal after school, my kids actually eat more . They get a snack in the evening when they're hungry again and I feel better knowing they've eaten well. Better communication overall When my kids were 10 and 8, they'd spend their entire 3:30pm dinnertime recounting their day while happily munching away. I wasn't frustrated, trying to bribe or coax them into eating, like I had to do at later times, even after a snack, when we were already cranky. But Jaren, your kids are teens now and you're in school full-time. How you manage dinner so early if you're gone? Honestly, I food prep on Sundays (the kids to help). I make a big batch of rice, black beans, and steamed vegetables (thanks to an Instant Pop and Air Fryer). I cook a couple proteins (two types of chicken, or tofu, ground beef, etc.) and when we all make it home from a long day during the school week, no matter the time, we assemble our own dinners. We don't always eat together now because of our schedules, but at least the food is there and ready to go. My kids also help cook now, so that's been helpful. They each take care of one meal per week and we focus on eating together on weekends. What helps you manage dinner as a fellow neurodivergent? I want to hear! -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Today's is about organizing in a way that makes sense for all the brains living under my roof. Except the dog's. She has a single cell floating around somewhere between her ears. Sometimes she uses it. Like Things Together in ONE Space...where possible Remember when Marie Kondo's show Tidying Up on Netflix came out in 2019? Oh man, I do. I had published my book about transitioning to zero waste , and in the process, had downsized the amount of stuff in my apartment considerably. But I wasn't very organized. I needed help. In the show, Marie suggests to put all like things together for sorting. So, if you want to organize school supplies, for example, the idea is to put all the school supplies (pens, pencils, scissors, etc.) into one room of the house to go through. I did just that. I went through all the rooms and all the junk drawers, all the nooks and crannies of my little apartment and guess how many pairs of scissors I found? 16. 16!!! And about 300 pens and pencils. This girl was shook. I went through the entire pile, removed what was broken or no longer worked, sorted the rest by category, and then threw them all into an organizer bin. I decided to keep all of the supplies in one area of the house so everyone knew where to go. But the rule was simple: take ONLY what you need. I don't want stuff scattered around the house like before. Believe it or not, the system works - even for my kids. It's been 7 years since I first sorted my office supplies and the kids and I still use the same method. In fact, each year when the school year is over, we (but mostly me), go through the old supplies and add what works back to our master stock of school supplies so we know what inventory we have for the next school year. I'm not buying another damn pack of markers. So put like things together wherever you can. It seems very simple. Makeup, beauty, pantry, tools, school supplies... Have a central area for each category and not only will it make putting things away easier (my kids never ask "where do the pens go?"), but it'll keep your space more organized and clutter-free. In my experience, anyway. Look at me projecting. -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. The Magic of Having a Home Store Home Store is the greatest tool I have in my belt as an AuDHD mom to ADHD kids, on a full-time schedule and a student budget. Home Store is essentially a pantry, but it's where I hold all the duplicates of everything in my house, not just food and laundry items. (And before we get all judgy and think I am a hoarder, I want to let you know this came about because I was looking for a way to save money by buying what I use only when it's on sale, and storing the extras somewhere until I can use it. Think Jordan Page's "buy one for now, two for later" for sale items.) Home Store started as a little storage box under my bed (because that's all the storage I had), and has progressed to an actual little storage room in my house with a metal shelving organizer containing a bunch of cardboard boxes that have been marked by category. As mentioned above, when I shop, I buy only what's on sale. If my shampoo goes is on sale (think $4 instead of $12), then I buy two extra to put in Home Store. When I run out of my current shampoo, I ask the kids to go to the Home Store and shop for some shampoo, please! It makes me feel rich. My Home Store Categories include: Bathroom This is where I keep all the extras I purchase when they were on sale: shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, etc. Snacks Because I don't know if you have teens, but if you leave snacks in the kitchen, they'll magically disappear after only 24 hours even if you tell them to limit themselves . In order to make snacks last, I keep them in the Home Store and shop only what I need during the school week. (I have stretched a Costco box of granola bars from one week to two months with this method.) Extras of ANYTHING Bath towels, shoes, office supplies, bags, you name it. *Did you know that if you want to reduce the monumental amount of laundry teenagers manage to produce weekly, all you have to do is give them each one towel and hide the rest (Home Store works for this - out of sight, out of mind) . Heaven forbid I put all the clean towels in the bathroom. The kids use one new one for each shower and I end up washing an entire load of towels every three days. Some of the greatest benefits of having a Home Store (even if it's a cardboard box under your bed): Saving money! Maple syrup goes on sale here once every quarter. So if I can stock up on extra cans while the price is $6/can instead of $12/can, you better believe I'm going to. Less clutter in the living space to organize. Less visual clutter. A backup for necessities so you're not stuck without toilet paper because you forgot to buy it. Gorl, you bought an extra package on sale and stored it. You've got your own back. Anyway. That's my pitch for Home Store. It has truly saved my sanity.

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Homework Station & Routine My kids will do homework anywhere except at a desk in their bedrooms. Why, I don't know. We have tried many times, but the desks just ended up as a storage area for dirty clothes, empty bowls and glasses, and school stuff, so we ditched 'em. Now, we use the dining room. I converted an TV from the 70s, which was left here during the move, into a proper homework station, complete with a yearly calendar, hole-punch, pens, pencils, and storage for other school supplies that won't require us to leave the room and risk getting distracted during homework time. It also signifies that the dining area is a place to come together to learn. There are set expectations when we sit down to dine or study. My little homework station. The cats eat the plants...dangit. Everything we need is there in limited quantity (a couple of each). Here's how our routine works: We choose a drink. Son likes hot chocolate. Daughter prefers tea. I like tea or coffee. We put on study music ONLY if we are all in agreement. Sometimes, one of us is overwhelmed and needs to do homework in total silence. If that happens, the rest of us can use our earbuds to listen to music on low while the other wears earplugs, because the spillover of sound from earbuds can drive us insane. We body double each other while enjoying our drinks. (If you don't know what body doubling is, it essentially means that the presence of another person is enough to motivate work getting done. So by simply being present while my kids are doing homework, they are motivated to do it.) If needed, we put on a pomodoro timer. What I love about our study routine: I'm leading by example when I study in front of my kids. I tell you, they've been working harder since I started school. It's a chance for us to all be together, and when one of us gets stuck, we can ask a question. Studying together this way helps us all to regulate better in the evenings. We feel better, together. We get to enjoy studying together. It's no longer something we dread, and when I talk about how much I enjoy school in front of them, my hope is that the positivity influences them to stay curious about learning. (*For the record, I really didn't like school at their age. I barely graduated and never went on to University, except to take a few courses while I was in High School...which is why I'm starting all over again now. ) IMPORTANT TO NOTE : While having a homework station and routine is my ideal , I don't want to give the impression that we are the perfect sing-song family who ALWAYS studies together through thick and thin, rainbows and bubbles. We don't. Sometimes one of us needs a break from humans and studies in our own room on our bed. But my aim as a mom who wants to make sure her kids are maintaining decent grades and really understanding the material is to create a space where studying is relaxing and enjoyable (as it can be) so they're more likely to stay in school. Because going back to school when your kids are teens, on a single mom budget in this economy is rough, y'all. What routine works for you? I'm here to learn! -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Let's talk about ordering grocery delivery for a second. Like many, I started ordering online during covid when I didn't want to leave the house. But what I quickly realized is that when I ordered groceries instead of picking them out myself in-store, I saved money. Like...$100 each shopping trip (I'll get into that in a sec, don't judge yet). That's including the tip for the driver. WHA??? Obviously, if you live in a really rural area you probably won't have this option. But if you do have it and you're in the season of life where you're busier than a donkey, might I suggest giving it a try. Here's why I shop grocery delivery as a neurdivergent: First of all, fewer distractions, fewer interactions. I need to shop sales in order to stretch my dollar, not get distracted by all the fancy in-store displays or the fact that people don't know how to walk at a reasonable pace inside a supermarket. (You'd think if I overspend by $100 in-store, I'd get more food which would mean stretching the amount of time between grocery trips. Please. I just eat more .) Secondly, I can easily adjust my cart before checking out by adding and subtracting items without embarrassment. I love that the cart calculates in real time and lets me know how far off I am from what I budgeted. I'm tipping someone who's job hasn't been entirely replaced by AI. That's gotta mean something. Also, instead of 30 people driving their cars to the grocery store and back, one van drops off groceries after the store processes its orders. I feel like that's more economical. I can order when I'm calm, fed, and focused instead of trying to slip it in between classes, feeling rushed, hungry and more impulsive (which ends up being costlier). I can include my kids in the process of shopping, therefor prepping them for real-world experiences. It's also nice to say "Hey, you have $20 on this haul. Choose a protein, a vegetable and a dessert that you'd like this week" and let them do some of the work. *They're more likely to eat what they choose anyway, so who's the smart mom, now, huh? I can also reorder past orders to save even more time. Since I prefer to eat the same things over and over again, this is a great option. How's my pitch? Are you convinced? What are your favorite tips and tricks for grocery shopping? I'm ALL ears. -Jaren

In case you are more of a visual person and less of a read-a-blog-post person, here's a quick video breakdown of days 1 - 3 of my series Things That Make My Life Easier. The posts can be found here: Day 1 - How to drink more water without a waterminder app Day 2 - Emergency Audio Card Day 3 - Earplugs - Not just for cutting the sound

Hey folks!  Most of you don’t know at the time of this writing that I’m going to nursing school fulltime right now…in French. Do I like torturing myself? I guess so.  For the last 9 months of school, I carried around two planners: one for school and another to organize all the stuff I needed to do at home. I’m old school - I need the pen-to-paper-to-brain connection in order to remember anything. (Side note: I also tried typing my notes and using a digital planner, but I never remember what I type, and worse, I cannot stand the sound of keys tapping. Thanks, sound processing disorder.) The other issue I have with weekly planners is the fact that there aren’t enough pages for notes. I need space for my ideas. I run through the notes section at the back of regular planners in the first weeks of the new year and I’m tired of carrying around extra notebooks.  Not anymore, homie. I created a 6-month perpetual weekly planner with weekly notes (you heard me—weekly  notes ), and I am psyched to share it with you!  Here are the top 6 things that make my 6-month perpetual planner with weekly notes different than the majority of planners out there: It’s perpetual. No more wasted paper. If you want to plan 5 days this week and then two days a week from now, be my guest! Also, your “weekend” might not be Saturday and Sunday (where there is traditionally less space given to write things down).  There’s a daily header to start each week (like I mentioned above) It has columns so you can track two things at once (you can easily draw in your own in a traditional planner, obviously. I used to do it, hahahah) Yes, it has a to-do list, a notes section on the side, and 5 habits you can customize (habit trackers typically make me feel like crap, unless I’m choosing what I track), but it also has a blank list you can customize . Need to put together a packing list for a trip? Grocery list? List of people to call this week? It’s flexible. Of course, most importantly, there are two extra pages   of notes.   Per week . This is a game changer for me. This is where I meal prep, plan, doodle, design, think out loud, budget, etc. Some of you might remember I published a book about transitioning to zero waste in 2018, so I’m conscious about waste. You can find that book here . One thing I love about this planner is that because it’s perpetual, you’re not wasting weeks of pages if you go on vacation or misplace your planner. The other thing is that it doesn’t have the spiral binding and extra plastic. It’s just paperbound. Also in hardcover so you have a sturdy surface to write on. Technically that would be #7. Check out the video above and some sweet AI-generated pictures below ( because that kind of budget? In this economy? ). All of them are available in softcover and hardcover except  the red version. That one is available in hardcover only. Feel free to pin away! I have these floating around Pinterest where I can. :) Who is this product for? Anyone who likes using a planner: my neurodivergent folks who like clean spaces without lots of overwhelm; my busy moms; my fellow nursing students; students in general; teens; business professionals…you name it. Happy planning, my friends! Let me know which one you purchased and how it’s working out for you. XoxoJaren Also, if you have or know kids over the age of 8, stay posted. I’m releasing two budget planners: Capital Kids: Budget Planner for kids 8+, and Capital Teens: Budget Planner for teens 14+.  They each contain a monthly page for tracking debits and credits, introducing the language of finance to them in an age-appropriate way, something many of us didn’t learn as kids.