Dinner Immediately After School - Day 14 of 30 - Things That Make My Life Easier

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40s. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. 

I learned this from a wonderful ADHD coach named Minda and not only is it controversial, it's effective. It worked especially well for my kids during primary school, but continues to work in secondary school...and as an adult, it turns out.

My kids often eat dinner immediately after school. Not at conventional dinner times.

3:30pm. 4pm. 4:30pm. I know. Early.

WHA??? JAREN! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU?

Turns out, I'm the kind who prefers calm over forcing my kids to eat at socially acceptable times. Anyhow, it's not like we could keep with up with tradition during the school week if we tried, what with our weird school schedules and all.

So, back to eating ridiculously early. Not everyone can do this. If you work outside the home, this is near impossible unless your kids are older and you prep everything in advance so that all they have to do it warm it up. I have mostly worked from home, so I have been able to make it happen.

Here's why eating dinner immediately after school is good for me and my kids:

• It calms us down

My kids usually eat lunch around 11am. If they wait until 5 or 6pm for dinner, that's a long stretch. We get crabby in this household when our blood sugar gets too low, knowwhatImean? Why not have a snack? Because then they won't eat dinner. I don't know why it works that way, but it's obviously a law designed to drive parents mad.

• Reduces the amount of fighting in the home

When our nervous systems are calm, we fight less. And when I say we, I mean the kids, thought I do join in from time to time.

• Improves our listening ears

Because we have more patience now that our tummies are full, I don't have to repeat 496,828,475 times that chores need to be done. More like 11 times. And that's more reasonable.

• Reduces the frequency of meltdowns

You know what's not great for perimenopause? Overwhelm. You know what overwhelms me more than anything? My kids having meltdowns because they're overwhelmed. It's an ugly cycle. When we're all immediately fed, we have the ability stop ourselves at level four instead of reaching a level ten on the ohmygodwhatshappening scale.

• Ensures my kids will eat an entire balanced meal

Heaven forbid someone give my kid a snack after school. It completely destroys their dinner, no matter how small it is, and then everyone is irritable. When offered a big meal after school, my kids actually eat more. They get a snack in the evening when they're hungry again and I feel better knowing they've eaten well.

• Better communication overall

When my kids were 10 and 8, they'd spend their entire 3:30pm dinnertime recounting their day while happily munching away. I wasn't frustrated, trying to bribe or coax them into eating, like I had to do at later times, even after a snack, when we were already cranky.

But Jaren, your kids are teens now and you're in school full-time. How you manage dinner so early if you're gone?

Honestly, I food prep on Sundays (the kids to help). I make a big batch of rice, black beans, and steamed vegetables (thanks to an Instant Pop and Air Fryer). I cook a couple proteins (two types of chicken, or tofu, ground beef, etc.) and when we all make it home from a long day during the school week, no matter the time, we assemble our own dinners. We don't always eat together now because of our schedules, but at least the food is there and ready to go. My kids also help cook now, so that's been helpful. They each take care of one meal per week and we focus on eating together on weekends.

What helps you manage dinner as a fellow neurodivergent? I want to hear!

-Jaren