Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a part-time single, neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. In french.

5 Sacred Minutes of Sunlight

I'm not sure if this particular thing I do makes my life easier so much as it makes it more enjoyable. But I guess when life is more enjoyable, it's somehow easier - and this little daily routine resets my soul.

I struggle with transitions. I used to struggle heavily with hyper-focus, so being interrupted in order to take care of activities of daily living would sometimes send me into a fit of rage. Eventually, my rage transitioned into fear of leaving my apartment. If I could just stay in my apartment and focus without any interruptions, I wouldn't get mad. My poor husband at the time had to deal with an extraordinary amount of meltdowns each time I had to get on an airplane or just go run an errand.

Ironically, even though I didn't like transitions (I've built up more of a tolerance, now), I have moved 30-something times in my life and I'm only 42 years old. What started as something I couldn't control (my father was in the business of house flipping to provide for us), turned into a coping mechanism for dealing with situations I wanted to leave behind. So picking up all of my belongings and schlepping them across town or across the country (as huge a transition as it always was) excited me. But leaving the house to run an errand? Cue the anxiety attacks.

Weird.

Perhaps because moving required time. I was prepared mentally on each moving day. I made lists of what and how to pack. I planned well in advance. I was prepared.

An impromptu walk outside? Oh, god no. Not when I have so much to think about right now.

Introducing 5-Minutes of Sunlight

The dominant side of me wants everything to stay the same way forever and ever because it gives me a sense of control. She likes things planned and organized. The other side wants desperately to break free from the rules of society and live care-free. They used to battle each other daily until both sides agreed that taking in the sun for 5 minutes everyday was a good compromise. And that's how this whole thing started.

Now it's one of the highlights of my day that isn't related to any of my labels: mom, friend, daughter, etc.

In those 5 minutes, I get to expand my soul and become the wind and mountains, the ocean, the sand, the dirt, the pavement, the birds, the people... It sounds silly, but I savour every single second.

My control-freak side appreciates that I don't have to leave the property line to do this activity, and the care-free side loves that I'm one with the elements, so...win/win.

Now, what often starts off feeling like an irritating transition in my day ("Ugh, I have to take the dog to the park") always ends up being enjoyable. ("Wow, it's so beautiful outside".)

So if you struggle to stop what you're doing and get out into the world, might I suggest starting small. Take 5 minutes a day to face the sun with your eyes closed. Between study sessions, after a fight with your teenager, or just because. No matter when you do it or for what reason, the warmth has benefits.

How do you handle transitions?

-Jaren