Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. Keep losing your keys? Find a ridiculous container to put them in. You will thank me later. This is the ultimate ADHD/AuDHD Mom hack. I found this little chicken dish, which I affectionally named Chicken Little (I know, ridiculously original), at Value Village for like three bucks last year. I placed it in my entryway specifically to hold my keys because I was having so much trouble remembering where I put them and I was constantly running behind. My feeling was that because the container was so adorably dorky, I couldn't possibly not look at it every time I walked by - which would make it the perfect place to put something I needed to remember several times per day. It worked! Not just for me, for my kids, too. I hear a lot less "Have you seen my keys?" "Do you know where the keys are?" and a lot more "Chicken Little." And when I think of Chicken Little, I giggle. So make sure it's a container that makes you feel good. How do you remember your keys? -Jaren

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. Now before everyone comes at me for promoting a coping mechanism (and not therapy) to deal with big emotions (which, by the way, I love and do recommend and have spent years doing), let me first say this: We, in my household, have zero issues feeling our emotions. I have always encouraged my kids to express their emotions because I'm a firm believer that if you do not, they can become trapped in the body, and according the work of Dr. John Sarno (author of The Mindbody Prescription), the risk of not expressing our emotions outweighs the benefits of keeping them to ourselves because we don't want to inconvenience anyone. Nuh uh. Not on my watch. What I do struggle with, more often than not, is getting stuck in big emotions. If I'm obsessing over something I'm bothered by, and I mean really having trouble processing my feelings and it's been dragging out - sometimes I need a little help stepping back to look at the bigger picture. Because I don't have a significant other, I don't usually have anyone to share my big feelings with in-the-moment, nor do I have anyone to check me and say "Okay, Jaren. You've been going on about your issue for awhile. Kinda feels like you're dragging it out. Maybe it's time for a reset?" So I figured out a way to help myself, no matter the situation: MENTAL HEALTH POSTERS. Ah, I love a reminder. Real subtle, Mom. Something about seeing charts, colors, and scientific explanations really allows me to pull back and look at the situation through a larger lens. One of my favorite posters is about the HALT technique - how to stop when you're in the middle of a meltdown by asking yourself if you are hungry, angry, lonely or tired. I can't tell you how many times I've been pissed off about something only to realize I just needed a long nap and a hug. Thank god for my dog. (Let me tell you that in my 40s, I prioritize sleep over having a social life because peri-menopause is dragging my tolerance in the mud. Boy do I feel better now that I focus on sleep. Let's see how long this lasts, perimenopause.) I like to casually explain the posters to my kids when we are having dinner and they're in a good mood. They listen. So I'm leaving them up for the foreseeable future. Btw - you can find these all over Etsy, Temu, etc. Give them a try. How you handle meltdowns as a neurodivergent? -Jaren

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s...in French. First, let's talk about labeling. I think if I were to calculate the efficacy of labeling in my house, I'd find that dishes get put away where they belong roughly 70% more often because of it, and with a lot less yelling on my part. Truly. Labels are reminders, in my household. And boy do we need a lot of reminding. Listen. I don't label because Home Edit makes it look good. I don't have the pretty handwriting. I do it because it helps me manage my cognitive overwhelm. I already have the attention span of an ant, so imagine what my fridge looked like every week after a grocery haul without labels. It was a disaster. Vegetables in the fridge doors, milk in the drawers (our milk comes in plastic bags up here in Canada). None of us could ever find what we were looking for. See? I don't have the Home Edit's cool handwriting. But that's okay. We can still find what we're looking for. Now I label everything, including the shelves (the top shelf labels remind my kids which portion of the fridge they are each entitled to for their own snacks and goodies - and it keeps them from fighting). The drawer labels remind me not to store garlic on top of the clementines. Because yuck. I label what-goes-where in my desk. I label what-goes-where in my cupboards. I label the chapters of my books, y'all. Yes, I've been told I'm a little intense. But am I more organized? Yes. Do I get as irritated when my kids ask where something goes? Not really. It probably means I haven't labeled something well. Most importantly, have I decreased the number of foot-stomping-rage-rioting meltdowns we all have in this house because one of us can't find something? Abso-fricken-lutely. SO WORTH IT. So what kinds of labels do I use? Whatever I can find. Paper and scotch tape, a random packet of sticker labels from my last move, duct tape or masking tape with marker. Painter's tape is really handy because it's bright so you'll pay attention to it, and it removes easily when you want to change things around. Now let's talk about my 2 favorite list reminders: Lunch Box Reminder You can print your own copy if it rocks your boat (see below). I tape my list to the inside of my cupboard and when the kids put together their lunches in the morning, all they need to do is mentally check-off each item going. Home Exit Reminder Leaving the house is a rush? Are you sure you have everything ? After forgetting school IDs and bus passes, I put this reminder together. So simple, so effective. Click on the version you want and it'll open up a pdf in a new window you can download. Click on the image above to download the version with text Click on the image above to download the blank version And last, but not least - one of my favorite reminders of all: The Pill Reminder Thingy-ma-doodad I believe it's just called a Visual Pill Reminder. This thing is great. You can glue it to a pill bottle (reuse the bottle because you can't re-glue the reminder once you pry it off), or slip the elastic around the top. Once I take my vitamin/supplement/medication, I slide the little button over for that particular day of the week. No more guessing "Did I take it this morning?" Seriously. Game changing. Honestly, labeling and using visual reminders has been one of the greatest gifts I've myself as a neurodivergent mom. They keep us ALL on track. 12/10. Would recommend. -Jaren

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a part-time single, neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. In french. I'm not sure if this particular thing I do makes my life easier so much as it makes it more enjoyable. But I guess when life is more enjoyable, it's somehow easier - and this little daily routine resets my soul. I struggle with transitions. I used to struggle heavily with hyper-focus, so being interrupted in order to take care of activities of daily living would sometimes send me into a fit of rage. Eventually, my rage transitioned into fear of leaving my apartment. If I could just stay in my apartment and focus without any interruptions, I wouldn't get mad. My poor husband at the time had to deal with an extraordinary amount of meltdowns each time I had to get on an airplane or just go run an errand. Ironically, even though I didn't like transitions (I've built up more of a tolerance, now), I have moved 30-something times in my life and I'm only 42 years old. What started as something I couldn't control (my father was in the business of house flipping to provide for us), turned into a coping mechanism for dealing with situations I wanted to leave behind. So picking up all of my belongings and schlepping them across town or across the country (as huge a transition as it always was) excited me. But leaving the house to run an errand? Cue the anxiety attacks. Weird. Perhaps because moving required time. I was prepared mentally on each moving day. I made lists of what and how to pack. I planned well in advance. I was prepared. An impromptu walk outside? Oh, god no. Not when I have so much to think about right now. Introducing 5-Minutes of Sunlight - the solution for those who want to leave the house without causing unnecessary anxiety. The dominant side of me wants everything to stay the same way forever and ever because it gives me a sense of control. She likes things planned and organized. The other side wants desperately to break free from the rules of society and live care-free. They used to battle each other daily until both sides agreed that taking in the sun for 5 minutes everyday was a good compromise. And that's how this whole thing started. Now, it's one of the highlights of my day that isn't related to any of my labels: mom, friend, daughter, etc. In those 5 minutes, I get to expand my soul and become the wind and mountains, the ocean, the sand, the dirt, the pavement, the birds, the people... It sounds silly, but I savour every single second. My control-freak side appreciates that I don't have to leave the property line to do this activity, and the care-free side loves that I'm one with the elements, so...win/win. Now, what often starts off feeling like an irritating transition in my day ("Ugh, I have to take the dog to the park") always ends up being enjoyable. ("Wow, it's so beautiful outside".) So if you struggle to stop what you're doing and get out into the world, might I suggest starting small. Take 5 minutes a day to face the sun with your eyes closed. Between study sessions, after a fight with your teenager, or just because. No matter when you do it or for what reason, the warmth has benefits. How do you handle transitions? -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40s. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier.  I learned this from a wonderful ADHD coach named Minda and not only is it controversial, it's effective. It worked especially well for my kids during primary school, but continues to work in secondary school...and as an adult, it turns out. My kids often eat dinner immediately after school. Not at conventional dinner times. 3:30pm. 4pm. 4:30pm. I know. Early. WHA??? JAREN! WHAT KIND OF MOTHER ARE YOU? Turns out, I'm the kind who prefers calm over forcing my kids to eat at socially acceptable times. Anyhow, it's not like we could keep with up with tradition during the school week if we tried, what with our weird school schedules and all. So, back to eating ridiculously early. Not everyone can do this. If you work outside the home, this is near impossible unless your kids are older and you prep everything in advance so that all they have to do it warm it up. I have mostly worked from home, so I have been able to make it happen. Here's why eating dinner immediately after school is good for me and my kids: It calms us down My kids usually eat lunch around 11am. If they wait until 5 or 6pm for dinner, that's a long stretch. We get crabby in this household when our blood sugar gets too low, knowwhatImean? Why not have a snack? Because then they won't eat dinner. I don't know why it works that way, but it's obviously a law designed to drive parents mad. Reduces the amount of fighting in the home When our nervous systems are calm, we fight less. And when I say we , I mean the kids, thought I do join in from time to time. Improves our listening ears Because we have more patience now that our tummies are full, I don't have to repeat 496,828,475 times that chores need to be done. More like 11 times. And that's more reasonable. Reduces the frequency of meltdowns You know what's not great for perimenopause? Overwhelm. You know what overwhelms me more than anything? My kids having meltdowns because they're overwhelmed. It's an ugly cycle. When we're all immediately fed, we have the ability stop ourselves at level four instead of reaching a level ten on the ohmygodwhatshappening scale. Ensures my kids will eat an entire balanced meal Heaven forbid someone give my kid a snack after school. It completely destroys their dinner, no matter how small it is, and then everyone is irritable. When offered a big meal after school, my kids actually eat more . They get a snack in the evening when they're hungry again and I feel better knowing they've eaten well. Better communication overall When my kids were 10 and 8, they'd spend their entire 3:30pm dinnertime recounting their day while happily munching away. I wasn't frustrated, trying to bribe or coax them into eating, like I had to do at later times, even after a snack, when we were already cranky. But Jaren, your kids are teens now and you're in school full-time. How you manage dinner so early if you're gone? Honestly, I food prep on Sundays (the kids to help). I make a big batch of rice, black beans, and steamed vegetables (thanks to an Instant Pop and Air Fryer). I cook a couple proteins (two types of chicken, or tofu, ground beef, etc.) and when we all make it home from a long day during the school week, no matter the time, we assemble our own dinners. We don't always eat together now because of our schedules, but at least the food is there and ready to go. My kids also help cook now, so that's been helpful. They each take care of one meal per week and we focus on eating together on weekends. What helps you manage dinner as a fellow neurodivergent? I want to hear! -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Let's talk about ordering grocery delivery for a second. Like many, I started ordering online during covid when I didn't want to leave the house. But what I quickly realized is that when I ordered groceries instead of picking them out myself in-store, I saved money. Like...$100 each shopping trip (I'll get into that in a sec, don't judge yet). That's including the tip for the driver. WHA??? Obviously, if you live in a really rural area you probably won't have this option. But if you do have it and you're in the season of life where you're busier than a donkey, might I suggest giving it a try. Here's why I shop grocery delivery as a neurdivergent: First of all, fewer distractions, fewer interactions. I need to shop sales in order to stretch my dollar, not get distracted by all the fancy in-store displays or the fact that people don't know how to walk at a reasonable pace inside a supermarket. (You'd think if I overspend by $100 in-store, I'd get more food which would mean stretching the amount of time between grocery trips. Please. I just eat more .) Secondly, I can easily adjust my cart before checking out by adding and subtracting items without embarrassment. I love that the cart calculates in real time and lets me know how far off I am from what I budgeted. I'm tipping someone who's job hasn't been entirely replaced by AI. That's gotta mean something. Also, instead of 30 people driving their cars to the grocery store and back, one van drops off groceries after the store processes its orders. I feel like that's more economical. I can order when I'm calm, fed, and focused instead of trying to slip it in between classes, feeling rushed, hungry and more impulsive (which ends up being costlier). I can include my kids in the process of shopping, therefor prepping them for real-world experiences. It's also nice to say "Hey, you have $20 on this haul. Choose a protein, a vegetable and a dessert that you'd like this week" and let them do some of the work. *They're more likely to eat what they choose anyway, so who's the smart mom, now, huh? I can also reorder past orders to save even more time. Since I prefer to eat the same things over and over again, this is a great option. How's my pitch? Are you convinced? What are your favorite tips and tricks for grocery shopping? I'm ALL ears. -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. My Homework Station & Routine My kids will do homework anywhere except at a desk in their bedrooms. Why, I don't know. We have tried many times, but the desks just ended up as a storage area for dirty clothes, empty bowls and glasses, and school stuff, so we ditched 'em. Now, we use the dining room. I converted an TV from the 70s, which was left here during the move, into a proper homework station, complete with a yearly calendar, hole-punch, pens, pencils, and storage for other school supplies that won't require us to leave the room and risk getting distracted during homework time. It also signifies that the dining area is a place to come together to learn. There are set expectations when we sit down to dine or study. My little homework station. The cats eat the plants...dangit. Everything we need is there in limited quantity (a couple of each). Here's how our routine works: We choose a drink. Son likes hot chocolate. Daughter prefers tea. I like tea or coffee. We put on study music ONLY if we are all in agreement. Sometimes, one of us is overwhelmed and needs to do homework in total silence. If that happens, the rest of us can use our earbuds to listen to music on low while the other wears earplugs, because the spillover of sound from earbuds can drive us insane. We body double each other while enjoying our drinks. (If you don't know what body doubling is, it essentially means that the presence of another person is enough to motivate work getting done. So by simply being present while my kids are doing homework, they are motivated to do it.) If needed, we put on a pomodoro timer. What I love about our study routine: I'm leading by example when I study in front of my kids. I tell you, they've been working harder since I started school. It's a chance for us to all be together, and when one of us gets stuck, we can ask a question. Studying together this way helps us all to regulate better in the evenings. We feel better, together. We get to enjoy studying together. It's no longer something we dread, and when I talk about how much I enjoy school in front of them, my hope is that the positivity influences them to stay curious about learning. (*For the record, I really didn't like school at their age. I barely graduated and never went on to University, except to take a few courses while I was in High School...which is why I'm starting all over again now. ) IMPORTANT TO NOTE: While having a homework station and routine is my ideal, I don't want to give the impression that we are the perfect sing-song family who always studies together through thick and thin, rainbows and bubbles. We don't. Sometimes one of us needs a break from humans and studies in our own room on our bed. But my aim as a mom who wants to make sure her kids are maintaining decent grades and really understanding the material is to create a space where studying is relaxing and enjoyable (as it can be) so they're more likely to stay in school. Because going back to school when your kids are teens, on a single mom budget in this economy is rough, y'all. What routine works for you? I'm here to learn! -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. The Magic of Having a Home Store Home Store is the greatest tool I have in my belt as an AuDHD mom to ADHD kids, on a full-time schedule and a student budget. Home Store is essentially a pantry, but it's where I hold all the duplicates of everything in my house, not just food and laundry items. (And before we get all judgy and think I am a hoarder, I want to let you know this came about because I was looking for a way to save money by buying what I use only when it's on sale, and storing the extras somewhere until I can use it. Think Jordan Page's "buy one for now, two for later" for sale items.) Home Store started as a little storage box under my bed (because that's all the storage I had), and has progressed to an actual little storage room in my house with a metal shelving organizer containing a bunch of cardboard boxes that have been marked by category. As mentioned above, when I shop, I buy only what's on sale. If my shampoo goes is on sale (think $4 instead of $12), then I buy two extra to put in Home Store. When I run out of my current shampoo, I ask the kids to go to the Home Store and shop for some shampoo, please! It makes me feel rich. My Home Store Categories include: Bathroom This is where I keep all the extras I purchase when they were on sale: shampoo, conditioner, soap, toothpaste, etc. Snacks Because I don't know if you have teens, but if you leave snacks in the kitchen, they'll magically disappear after only 24 hours even if you tell them to limit themselves . In order to make snacks last, I keep them in the Home Store and shop only what I need during the school week. (I have stretched a Costco box of granola bars from one week to two months with this method.) Extras of ANYTHING Bath towels, shoes, office supplies, bags, you name it. *Did you know that if you want to reduce the monumental amount of laundry teenagers manage to produce weekly, all you have to do is give them each one towel and hide the rest (Home Store works for this - out of sight, out of mind) . Heaven forbid I put all the clean towels in the bathroom. The kids use one new one for each shower and I end up washing an entire load of towels every three days. Some of the greatest benefits of having a Home Store (even if it's a cardboard box under your bed): Saving money! Maple syrup goes on sale here once every quarter. So if I can stock up on extra cans while the price is $6/can instead of $12/can, you better believe I'm going to. Less clutter in the living space to organize. Less visual clutter. A backup for necessities so you're not stuck without toilet paper because you forgot to buy it. Gorl, you bought an extra package on sale and stored it. You've got your own back. Anyway. That's my pitch for Home Store. It has truly saved my sanity.

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Today's is about organizing in a way that makes sense for all the brains living under my roof. Except the dog's. She has a single cell floating around somewhere between her ears. Sometimes she uses it. Like Things Together in ONE Space...where possible Remember when Marie Kondo's show Tidying Up on Netflix came out in 2019? Oh man, I do. I had published my book about transitioning to zero waste , and in the process, had downsized the amount of stuff in my apartment considerably. But I wasn't very organized. I needed help. In the show, Marie suggests to put all like things together for sorting. So, if you want to organize school supplies, for example, the idea is to put all the school supplies (pens, pencils, scissors, etc.) into one room of the house to go through. I did just that. I went through all the rooms and all the junk drawers, all the nooks and crannies of my little apartment and guess how many pairs of scissors I found? 16. 16!!! And about 300 pens and pencils. This girl was shook. I went through the entire pile, removed what was broken or no longer worked, sorted the rest by category, and then threw them all into an organizer bin. I decided to keep all of the supplies in one area of the house so everyone knew where to go. But the rule was simple: take ONLY what you need. I don't want stuff scattered around the house like before. Believe it or not, the system works - even for my kids. It's been 7 years since I first sorted my office supplies and the kids and I still use the same method. In fact, each year when the school year is over, we (but mostly me), go through the old supplies and add what works back to our master stock of school supplies so we know what inventory we have for the next school year. I'm not buying another damn pack of markers. So put like things together wherever you can. It seems very simple. Makeup, beauty, pantry, tools, school supplies... Have a central area for each category and not only will it make putting things away easier (my kids never ask "where do the pens go?"), but it'll keep your space more organized and clutter-free. In my experience, anyway. Look at me projecting. -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Today I want to talk about the power of ONE ITEM. First, let me preface this by saying that motherhood has prepared me for the worst. You only have to be stuck without a diaper and an extra set of clothes once or twice after a blowout before you start packing extras of everything with you wherever you go. Additionally, we live in a world that promotes overconsumption. I'm guilty, too. Forgot your blue pen for the exam? No problem, I have 10 extra in my locker for this moment. Forgot a hair tie? I have a dozen in my bag somewhere. Need a bandaid? I got you! But where the hell are my tubes of mascara? Why do they all disappear??? Hint: because I don't care about them. The Power Of One Item affords my brain more "space". Instead of having to keep track of a bazillion extra things, you only have to keep track of one thing. Obviously, this is very difficult when you live with teenage girls who steal your mascara, but you can teach them. Kinda. Once I decided to weed things down, and once I chose a landing spot for each of my singular items (with the exception of earplugs and lip balms), the clutter in my house started to reduce...pretty drastically. *Here's where I confess to my addiction to highlighters. I want to buy all of them all of the time. This year, I am challenging myself to use the rest of what I have on hand before buying any more. Same for all of my office supplies. Here are the biggest benefits of pairing daily stuff down to ONE ITEM: 1) Save $ 2) Less waste 3) Save your back from carrying all the extras 4) Save your BRAIN from having to keep track of all the crap, all the time 5) Cleaner, quieter, calmer home - who doesn't want that? 6) Fewer panic attacks trying to find things you know you put somewhere but can't remember where but that you really really really need it RIGHT NOW! The trick with this, you see, if you choose the item you love the most, so you have incentive to remember to take care of it. It's much easier to remember where something is that you enjoy and use regularly than to remember where you put a bunch of copies of the same thing that you care less about. It ends up as clutter - and AuDHD, my AuDHD, cannot function with clutter. Even though I am soooo messsssssy. Fancy hair tie you love? You'll keep better track of it because it's more important to you. Fancy pen you love to write with? Same. The one pair of sunglasses you just love over all the rest? They're designed to be worn, honey. Wear them every day and store the rest for now. We'll get to the "extras" in another video coming soon. For now, an easy way to practice pairing down is to start in a room that tends to end up with a lot of clutter and go slowly, when you feel like taking on a challenge. For us, that's the bathroom. Between the makeup and the skincare, we end up having doubles and triples of things for no reason, which then end up all over the house. Easy things to try pairing down: Makeup Challenge yourself to choose a minimalist set (ex: one of each of your favorite products) and store the rest for a few weeks while you try it out a more minimalist routine. Hair stuff If you're feeling daring, try keeping only one of each of your hair products nearby, and one of each of the hair ties and brushes / combs. Skin Care Products I have more than three face creams. Not because they have different functions - they don't. It's because I forgot I had one open, so I opened another. Tarot Decks Just kidding. I will never pair down the number of tarot decks I have. I love them all. But you get what I mean. In a society where it's cool to have a bunch of something, try having only one and see what happens. -Jaren