The Pivot #11 - Music Edition - Love & Light

Lyrics at the bottom of this post

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xaYaDMgjPrs

Click on the youtube video to listen to Kainos Harmon sing on Amurai's track Love & Light, written by Jaren Cerf

Love & Light

I don’t think many people know I wrote the lyrics and melody to this song. It’s been in my Top 5 since at least 2015 for a few reasons: Amurai’s production is out of this world, especially paired with Kainos Harmon’s voice. (I am so lucky she sang it. If I remember correctly, she was a friend or contact of Amurai’s and I knew the minute I heard her voice she could nail ANYTHING. Like. Anything. This girl’s voice is like a chameleon. I wonder what she’s up to now.) Kainos, if you ever read this post, you have one of my favorite voices on the planet. 

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I don’t consider myself to be that philosophic, but I do tend to be a deep thinker when sitting behind a piano. Even as a teenager, I’d spent hours on end at my upright wondering what makes people tick. I was especially fascinated about human connection, especially as someone who grew up so independent it was difficult for me to maintain friendships with more than one or two people at a time. Often, I’d write something that didn’t make total sense to me at the time, then figure it out years later. Because I’m a goddam genius? Ha! I wish. Nah. The older I get, the more I think it has to do with channeling.

As a child, I would often have experiences of déjà vu. I would sometimes predict what my mother would say before she said it. Not often enough to scare anyone. Just often enough for me to think “Whoa, that was weird!” and then forget about it 10 minutes later.

Sometimes, I’d have experiences at the piano where it felt like my hands were being taken over by someone else. And on particularly good days when I was feeling really emotionally connected to something larger than myself (though at the time I couldn’t define what), words and melodies would come together at the same time as the music in a way that felt so effortless I can only describe it as the true definition (in my head) of the word freedom.

Effortless doesn’t necessarily mean good, though. I’ve listened back to plenty of my work and thought “Welp. That was crap. But even crap needs to find its way out.”

I came to think of these flow states as radio channels. Depending on where my emotional antenna was facing, I would pull in a certain station - information that needed to be expressed.

If you ask me now, I would say I believe that what I write has less to do with me being original and more to do with being an open source for spirit (or source or whatever) to express itself. I mean, I didn’t have the life experience to write about some of the songs that made my career, yet I wrote them all the same. How do I explain that? Or the fact that years later, I would live these songs out (which got a little scary). Now I pay more attention to the words I use when I write…which means that I spend less time tuning into a particular “channel” and more time being deliberate about what I want to say.

This has been one of the most difficult things for me to do, as a writer. I dislike the process of writing significantly more when I’m trying to be deliberate about what I want to convey than when I just let it flow. But at this point in my life, I feel like it’s a necessary step in my writing journey because once I can really say what I mean, I can then let go and allow the channeling to happen again. Then, in my head at least, I can marry the two parts together for something even more meaningful than I could ever have imagined.

I feel a little bit like that’s what happened with this song. I remember wanting connection as I wrote it. I remember wanting to tap into something deeper. And I also remember the flow state I was in when this song was born. Maybe that’s why I appreciate it so much.

And for those of you who think this series of the Pivot is just about bragging, don’t worry. I’m going to talk about the songs that flopped harder than a whale falling from an airplane pretty soon. I’m ready to have a good laugh at myself. Until then...

Final thoughts:

Art and connection are dependent on others being witness to them. 

“I need your love and light. I can’t do this alone.”

I could never have had a career without you. I could never have had a relationship without my partner. I could have never been a mother without having my children. I could have never written this song had you all not been around to share in listening. I could not be me without you. We are all connected.

Love & Light

Written and produced by: Amurai

Vocals: Kainos Harmon

Lyrics & Melody: Jaren Cerf

Lost somewhere in western sky

Just below the setting sun

Rests the truth about the lies

We tell ourselves so we can keep on and on, yeah

How do we light what’s been so dark, so long?

I need your love and light

I can’t do this alone

Can’t do this alone

We could light a fire in the heart of hearts

We could walk the walk until the end

We could tear the world we know apart and

Make amends and start again, oh yeah

That’s how we light what’s been so dark, so long

I need your love and light

I can’t do this alone

Can’t do this alone

I need your voice to fight

‘Cuz we can’t do this alone

We can’t do this alone

I need your love

Keywords: Jaren Cerf, singer, Armin van Buuren, Dash Berlin, Man On The Run, Saved Again, You Never Said, Unforgiveable, Cerf, CMJ, Cerf, Mitiska, Jaren, EDM, Trance, Vocal Trance, Aly & Fila, A State Of Trance, Begging You, Matt Cerf, Avenue One