I’m Jaren—a neurodivergent voice artist turned student nurse, and you’re listening to the audio version of my blog series T he Pivot : my journey through motherhood, medicine, language, and music and the art of the mid-life remix. Photo by Pok Rie: https://www.pexels.com/photo/winding-road-in-lush-green-forest-aerial-view-33275771/ The Only Constant Change is my only constant. And whether I want to admit it or not, I need it. My neurodivergence needs it. My soul needs it.  Stagnation is my enemy. It’s been my enemy in relationships and in my work. I’ve been told for years that sticking to one thing is the ideal and my need for change is the symptom of a much larger problem, one I need to figure out. But after decades of therapy, I’m not sure I believe that anymore. I’ve started over more times than anyone I know, so far. I’ve moved thirty-four times in my forty-two years, donated all my belongings to strangers (apart from a few essentials) twice, started over from scratch after divorce, had two mental breakdowns in the years after that had me seriously considering ending my life, and I've started my career over many many times. I’ve qualified for government assistance for most of my adult life, but have never taken it because I thought it would make me a bad person because… we just don’t do that in my family. I struggled. I found it impossible to find work in my own language in a North-American province worried about the French language police. I trudged through years of barely making ends meet; of refusing to go out with friends because I couldn’t afford to; of telling my family I, once again, couldn’t afford to participate in giving Christmas presents this year, nor could I afford to come home to see them in person. And yet, somehow, I made ends meet. Most of the time with a modest amount of debt. Things changed briefly when I became a voiceover artist. I made more money than I thought I deserved, so I started giving it away to strangers; buying groceries for families in need; donating belongings I felt guilty about owning. I was responsible. I saved up the money I needed to set aside in order to pay my taxes as an independent contractor. I saved to buy a car. I saved to pay off a loan to my Dad. Then I saved to make a down payment on a condo. And when I started losing some of my bread and butter gigs to AI, I sold my condo and bought a house outside the main city so I wouldn’t have to pay condo fees because they were killing me. My body knew rough financial times were ahead and, boy, did they come. In the span of a year and a half, I lost 75% of my income. I blame it on AI. But I’m not mad about it. Not now, at least. I was happy to make money as a voiceover for the first couple of years. Then I started getting bored. Life was becoming too predictable. Somewhere deep down, though, I really wanted stability - and here it was. I kept telling myself I needed it for my kids. They deserve it. I was a messy mother for so many years, surely this kind of boredom on my part is good for them.  But I lost motivation to work and more importantly, I realized many parts of being a voiceover no longer fit with my values. I felt like I was selling my soul to voice projects I didn’t believe in. But there were some I did, so I auditioned for those and stuck it out as long as I could. Anyway, how privileged was I that I even had a choice in the matter? First world problems, Jaren. Don’t be so ungrateful. The need to reinvent myself regularly is so strong that asking me to stay in one period of time, position, or place for too long physically hurts. I remember a famous DJ once told me, after having heard about my penchant for singing in other genres of music, that “It’s too bad you didn’t just stick to trance music. You could have been someone.” I was devastated and I went home thinking what he said must be true. There must be something wrong with me that I can’t just do the same thing over and over and over and ove… Why was I  given this gift of curiosity? I didn’t want it anymore. And then I thought back to when I was a kid. My Dad made ends meet by buying old houses and fixing them up. Often, we would live in these houses while he made improvements. And each time we went to visit a new one, my sister and I would run around the house declaring excitedly which room we called dibs on. No matter what it looked like, I would always imagine how I’d decorate it and how it would feel to sit at the end of my bed all by myself, alone in my own space. Essentially, I would ask myself two different questions: How will I take up this space? And how will I settle myself in? These questions inevitably became the two things I’ve asked myself during every real pivot in my life, since, I’ve come to realize. As a full-time student, I ask myself how will I take up this student space?  Will I put myself out there? What kind of student will I be? Will I be helpful to my classmates? Will I fend for myself?  And then I ask myself how I’ll settle in, essentially a derivative of the first question. This question triggers my intuition. In all the years I’ve started over, it’s always been by feeling. By tuning into my gut, for better or worse. In the worst cases, I realize I’m sliding down a very slippery slope, but not so fast I can’t reach out and find something to hang on to… a social worker, a psychologist…a voice on the other end of an anonymous phone line. In the best cases, my intuition tells me how to introduce myself to others. It lets me know if what I’m doing feels okay, or if it feels absolutely off. Am I comfortable? If I feel okay, great.  If I feel great. My god, I’ve won the lotto. So now, as I sit and type, I wonder if school will ever start to feel too predictable for my comfort. Right now I’m doubtful. I just love the subject matter so much. But the routine might get to me, eventually. And when it does, I’ll need a plan. Because I will always need change. And finally, I’m okay with that. -J

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. I have to thank Jordan Page for introducing this idea to me. It came from one of her YouTube videos and when I first heard it, I thought wow this is bonkers. I must try it. I was looking for any excuse to reduce the amount of time it took to fold laundry and socks, as any mother can attest, were the bane of my existence. The Box of Socks Technically, it's not a box, it's a drawer in my entryway cabinet, but box rhymes with socks. Easier to remember. How it works: Easy. You get rid of all the colorful socks with cute designs (I know...but you won't miss them that much when you realize how much time this box of socks saves, I can almost promise... almost), and replace everything with one style of white sock that fits everyone in the house . You heard me. Okay, obviously you can only really do this if you all wear similar sizes. My kids and I have been wearing the same one size fits most socks since they were 10 and 12 years old, and let me tell you, the box of socks changes the game! The Box of Socks by the front door helps in these ways: 1) Easier to get out the front door - no stress looking for mismatches or lost socks 2) No more folding. All the socks go into a pile and get dumped directly into the drawer 3) Accidentally tear a hole in a sock? No prob. Toss it or repair it. The brilliance of having all of the same style is that you don't have to spent time pairing them Easy peasy, lemon squeezy. We rotate the white socks for winter and summer. Ankle socks for summer, long socks up to our bellybuttons for winter. What tips and tricks save you time? -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier.  What can I say? The news is getting to me. All last week I was feeling helpless, and then, as I was going over what to present for the 30 Days of Things That Make My Life Easier , I realized I could use my own tool to pull myself out of feeling hopeless and helpless, so I hit record and walked through the entire process ( 9 steps to transform your thoughts ) in this video right here. I call this process Loop Breaker. Here it is. Btw, you can purchase the paper copy here  if you want to support my small business, but I am also happy to share the digital version here  if you’re more of a digital organizer. It’s quite easy - you just follow the prompts of Loop Breaker working from left to right. Click on the digital version linked above to see a sample. Here are the prompts: Area of Life This could be General, Friendship, Romance, Pet Ownership, Art Creation, Work, etc. What I hear/tell myself. My Loop. This is what I’m hearing over and over again. Either from myself or from others. Things like critical self-talk, something I perceive as criticism, etc. How it makes me feel This is pretty self explanatory. I try to keep it down to one or two emotional descriptors like: angry, sad, worried, anxious, helpless, hopeless, etc. What is the self-limiting belief behind this? These loops don’t just come out of nowhere. There’s almost always a self-limiting belief behind them. Identifying them can be tricky, so sometimes I just ask myself what the most insecure version of myself is feeling in that moment. Do I truly believe it? This is where I get to challenge that insecure version of myself. I get to ask my soul what it really thinks. And let me tell you, it almost always puts its arms around me in a warm hug and lets the insecure side of me know that everything is alright, and that I don’t really need to believe what I think.  Eating Well? Hydrated? Sometimes my blood sugar is low and dehydration prevents me from thinking clearly. Easy fix. Getting good sleep? This is so important. Good sleep can change my mood entirely. Sometimes I just need a damn nap. Anything I can do differently?  This is where I can take responsibility for my thoughts and actions (or inaction). I need to be real here. What can I do to change my outcome? How can I reframe this into a better-feeling thought? Present tense. This is where the magic happens. I’ve walked myself through the process and now I get to partner with my soul to rewrite how I want to think and feel. I write it in present tense as if I already feel that way. After some repetitions, I start to really feel it. And if I forget, it’s easy for me to flip through the pages of the book and reread the column full of all my new thought patterns as a reminder of how I’m choosing to reframe issues in my life. I hope this helps. Really and truly. This tool has helped me so much in the past as I’ve navigated my anxiety. I have an even more advanced version in mind down the road, for those who want to take this method even further. Join the newsletter and I’ll keep you updated. Thanks for sticking around. Take care of yourselves during this chaotic time in the world. -Jaren P.S., I'm adding these AI-styled photos of my book for you to Pin, if you feel so called. :) Thank you #AuDHD #Adhd #trasnformyourself #loopbreaker #savetheworld

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Today's post rides on the tails of yesterday's in that it has to do with reducing overwhelm. Of course, it has another important benefit - saving my hearing. As a voiceover artist who works with my ears for a living, this is imperative. Today's thing that makes my life easier: earplugs. Here are three kinds of earplugs I use, depending on my needs. Explained below. When I was a kid, I went to a lot of loud spaces with my Dad: concerts, ball games, shows, you name it. We never had earplugs, so we would find napkins or toilet paper somewhere in the facility and make our own by rolling the paper, making sure the plugs were long enough to stick out from the ear so we could remove them easily. Now, I use the store-bought kind. I keep a pair in the kitchen, in my purse, in my car, in my bookbag, and next to my bed. 5 Reasons I wear earplugs: 1) Better self-regulation. They help me self-regulate when those around me (*coughs "my offspring") whine about chores. Whiny frequencies are usually pretty specific, so if I don't hear them as well, it's better for all of us. 2) Better breathing. Somehow, the sound of my own breathing calms me. In meditation, we focus a lot on the breath. I like to focus on how it sounds from inside my head, which then calms my nervous system, and deepens and slows my breathing. 3) Better vision. Hear me out. Has your vision ever been affected by loud noise? Happens to me all the time. This is one of the reasons I don't listen to music, especially while driving. WHAT?! I know. My kids hate being in the car with me unless they have their own music and earbuds. 4) Better Sleep. My kids are allowed to talk to their friends on the phone past my bedtime (I prefer that to texting). But my house is small and everyone can hear everything...ish. My perimenopausal a** doesn't need to make the whole house suffer just because I want to go to bed early every night. A good pair of earplugs = win-win for everyone! 5) Better exam results. Whaaa? Those of us with sound processing sensitivities know the special type of hell that is the sound of pencil tips dragging across papers during exams in lecture halls. Also, the sound of tapping pens, tapping feet, mouth breathing...I could go on but I'm getting irritated just replaying it all in my head. A good pair of earplugs allows me to focus on the exam at hand and not the noises that distract me and turn me into a monster. Look at that little pile of earplugs. Types of earplugs and what I use them for: 1) Professionally molded earplugs (pictured below) I had these made nearly 15 years ago and I don't go anywhere without them because they are great for loud places (like nightclubs) where I still need to converse (with promoters, club owners, managers, etc.). These earplugs have traveled the world with me. They know me better than I know myself. I've named them Tina and Fey and they always have my back. RECOMMENDATION: They're comfortable for longer wear because they're molded to your ear canal, but I would never consider sleeping in them because the material is not a very soft silicone. It's slightly more rigid. They're also very expensive, but if your job depends your ability to hear well, invest. Holding Tina in my left hand. Fey (not pictured) is being covered by my thumb. 2) Silicone earplugs There are so many types. I have the mock Loops (not pictured) and several of these pink, alien-looking things. I bought them because they have this loop piece that fixes on the inside of the ear like a hook, holding them in place a little better than my Loops. They look like they might reach inside your head and tickle your brain, but they don't. They've very comfortable and I'm wearing them right now while I type. RECOMMENDATION: Great for test-taking. Probably great for sleeping, too, depending on your ear shape, because they can't expand and they're soft. I'll explain more about that below with the foam ones. Also, inexpensive. These babies look intimidating, but they've very comfortable. 3) Foam earplugs I have them in pink and orange and blue. I bought them at Home Depot. They're great for working in very loud spaces, but not great for having conversations, in my experience. They are wonderful when they're soft and not dried out (so keep the packaging airtight). I keep a little pill bottle of these (unused) in case someone in my class forgets theirs during an exam. I have given out more than you would imagine. RECOMMENDATION: I used to use these for sleeping, but my ear canal would be sore in the morning from the expansion pressure of the foam, so I switched to soft silicone. Also great for test-taking and they're inexpensive for the quantity when you buy them at Home Depot vs. the regular pharmacy. Or at least it's that way here in Canada. Easy-peasy foam earplugs. Can get them at the pharmacy or hardware store. So, there you have it. Earplugs make my life much more enjoyable. What are your favorites? What do you use? -Jaren For more tips and tricks, be sure to check out the rest of this 30-day series! #earplugs #30days #sanitysaver

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Today's post is kind of a weird one, but it's helpful to me. Especially during stressful political times. My current Emergency Audio Card The Emergency Audio Card I carry what I have affectionately dubbed The Emergency Audio Card around my neck on a keychain wherever I go. It accompanies my bus pass, my school schedule and school ID. On it, there are 6 QR codes. Each QR code leads directly to a piece of audio I find soothing, depending on the extent of my overwhelm. Here's what I have on it, currently: For frustration - I play this when my system is overwhelmed and on the grumpy side. Like when I'm walking through Costco, where people don't know how to walk faster than .2 mph for some reason. ( Malte Martin and Konstantin Rössler ) For anxiety - I play this when I have general unease and want to feel more safe and grounded. I just listened to this on my sofa while cuddling my dog after freaking out about the news yesterday. ( Chantress Seba ) Study Music - I play binaural beats because I can't study with music or my brain likes to join in and I get distracted. 5-Minute Meditation - I change this one now and again to various 5-minute breathing meditations for a quick fix. 11- Minute Healing Meditation - I just love David Ji. I woke up to one of his meditations on autoplay years ago thinking it was Gob from Arrested Development and laughed my a** off and have been a fan ever since. This Destructive Thoughts Meditation , also from David Ji. Couldn't you just create a Spotify playlist? Sure, whatever floats your boat. (I avoid Spotify because f*ck the CEO who makes 235 million dollars a year while artists make .003 cents per stream.) But having a QR code gives me direct access to what I want when time counts and I need something STAT. When I'm overwhelmed, the last thing I want to do is search for a playlist. If what I need is right in front of me, it becomes a tool. Print your own using Canva and QR.io Want make your own Emergency Audio Card? Easy peasy. Find the audio you want online. Copy the Url Go to QR.io and input the link to your audio file Screenshot your QR code Go to Canva (open a free account) Create a new document (I typed "business card" and found a blank template) Drag and drop the QR code onto the card and label it Repeat these steps for all the QR codes you use Print and put it somewhere you can easily access when you need some help regulating your nervous system There you have it! Day number 2 of 30 of things that make my life easier. My nervous system appreciates all the effort. Let me know what tips and tricks you use to reset your nervous system when you're feeling anxious, frustrated, or overwhelmed. -Jaren

I'm Jaren, a neurodivergent Mom of neurodivergent kids going back to school in my 40's. In this series, I'll be posting about things that make my life easier. Ready for this one? This makes calculating how much water I drink in a day easier. It also increases the chances I'll consume somewhere remotely close to the daily recommended amount because it gamifies water consumption. For me, at least. What is it? A water bottle with time stamps on it. Got an old water bottle lying around? Who doesn't. Got a marker? I prefer the acrylic paint markers, but if you're using a stainless steel water bottle, permanent marker is great, too. Here's what I write down on my water bottle all spaced out. I aim for three bottles per day (mine's not a huge bottle). For my MILITARY TIME friends: 7h/12h/17h 8h/13h/18h 9h/14h/19h 10h/15h/20h 11h/16h/21h For my EVERYONE ELSE friends: 7am/12pm/5pm 8am/1pm/6pm 9am/2pm/7pm 10am/3pm/8pm 11am/4pm/9pm Does this work? You betcha! But not in the way you think. In my case, I am an overachiever. If I have been distracted on a project and noticed that I have missed a couple hours, I will drink those missed hours and two extra, to put myself ahead...and then forget two days in a row, which I will not make up for. But whatever, it mostly works. Do fancy bottles with these numbers on them already exist? Heck yeah. Loads of 'em on Amazon. But I've got school books to pay for. In French . All those extra letters mean extra pages, which means extra moolah. So I'm happy as a clam to stick with my nearly-yellow, used-to-be-clear-ten-years-ago water bottle for now. But when I graduate and start raking in the dough ....well, I won't tell anyone, but there will be signs. Like a fancy, time stamped water bottle. What are your favorite ways to increase water intake? -Jaren #dedication #AuDHD #MomLife #Tips

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. ***For those of you with 5 kids who don't have extra space to do this, I don't have a solution for you because I don't know what it's like feeding that many people. So disregard this post. Pack your lunch the night before, and put the whole thing in the fridge (in a bin, in the lunch box, in a big bowl, whatever you have available to you). That's it. That's part of the best kept secret of getting out the door on time and without stress in the morning. The entire secret is just this: prepare everything the night before . Clothes, homework, lunch, etc. (Man, I tell you, having kids really forces you to develop systems otherwise you'll freeze in a corner and cry for eternity...if you're anything like me, I mean.) If you don't know what to prepare for the next day's lunch (maybe you're a student who just moved out of the house for the first time, or you're someone who decided to start making lunches at home to save money), feel free to print out a checklist (here). Method One - Leftovers My general rule is this: 1 protein, 1 carb, 1 veggie, 1 fruit, 1 snack If you need a visual reminder of what to pack like I do, I suggest checking out this post. 1) If you have leftovers, portion some out in a container you can microwave at the cafeteria (or heat quickly in the morning to transfer to your thermos). They might count as your carb, protein and vegetable. You'll decide. 2) Add support foods you already prepped. Why cut up fresh bell peppers each morning for your lunch? Too much work. Cut up three peppers and keep them in the fridge. The night you prepare you next-day's lunch, grab a handful. Bing, bang, boom. Same with fruits. I batch prep everything. Buy oranges, apples or bananas (easy single-unit fruits), or cut up a melon to last a few mornings. ***My kids and I each have our own labeled lunch spots on a shelf in the fridge to make things easier, keep the kids from fighting, and streamline our mornings. Method Two - If you don't have leftovers from the previous night's dinner I pack one of each of the following from a checklist I keep on my fridge. 1) Protein I could pack grilled chicken, egg salad, tuna salad, ham slices with cheese, etc. Again, all batch prepped so I only make them once every few days. Because I'm efficient. Not lazy. .. says the woman trying to get over her guilt for not having an interest in cooking. 2) Carb This might be the bread I use for the sandwich, or could be a side of pasta, rice, etc. 3) Veggies I usually meal prep a big weekly salad (my favorite is just bell pepper, cucumber, hearts of palm and olives with olive oil) so I will portion some of that into a container. 4) Fruit I toss an apple or an orange into my lunchbox 5) Snack Could be a granola bar, some trail mix, a yogurt, whatever. Below, I have included a visual my kids use when packing their lunches the night before (the wording. on mine is different because I'm focused more on protein - thanks, perimenopause ). We keep it taped on the fridge or the inside of the cupboard, depending on how stressed and wild our brains are. Never forget your utensils! If you want to customize your own, visit this post to download a template. How do you prep for easier mornings? -Jaren

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. Yes, I refer back to my book Talking Trash: My Year in Zero-Wasteland again ...because today's thing that makes my life easier is buying in bulk. Here are three reasons why buying in bulk makes my life easier: 1) Saves me money (in the long term) 2) Reduces the amount of packaging I have to clean up (if you have kids who eat things that come in wrappers, you know) 3) Knowing I have the extra quantity reduces my super weird worries about food insecurity But Jaren, it's more expensive. Yeah, the initial investment is, but over the long run, it's cheaper. Example: I can buy trail mix in a big ol' bag from Costco for $22, or buy the individually wrapped ones for $3/each. For the same quantity, that's a price difference between $22 and $32. I can divvy up the trail mix myself for that amount of savings. But what if I don't have the money to spend more up front? Then it's time to find yourself a store that specializes in zero-waste or bulk product offerings (Bulk Barn, Green Matters, Yupik etc. - depending on your country). How to shop bulk with your own containers: 1) Weigh your own containers. When you enter the store, there's almost always a station with scales and markers where you can weigh your own containers. Mark down the weight on your container with a marker or crayon. This is your tare weight and will be deducted at checkout. 2) Fill your containers and be sure to write down the food's code on the container. 3) Checkout. The cashier will weigh everything at checkout and subtract the weight of your containers. You'll spend less moolah (most of the time) than if you bought the product with a bunch of packaging. IMPORTANT TO NOTE: There's no sense buying something in bulk if you don't use it. I buy rice, beans and lentils en masse because I use them weekly in my diet (I'm a creature of habit). So only buy what you really use regularly or you'll waste money. The last thing you want is for something to spoil because you bought too much and didn't use it. What helps you? -Jaren

Each day I talk about one thing that makes my life easier as a neurodivergent mother raising neurodivergent kids while going back to school full time in my 40s. As you can see in the video above, my use of highlighters used to be...questionable at best. It's funny, I've been reading that highlighters aren't really that effective as a study tool. Well, not when you're highlighting every single word in all of the colors in the rainbow like I used to! I use them for visual organization, primarily. And not just for studying, either. In fact, I try, as best as I can, to use the same colors between my digital and paper calendars. One color denotes my schedule, another for one kiddo's, and yet another for the other kiddo's. And when I'm organizing my nursing notes, I know exactly where to look on my disorder sheet to find what medications are most commonly used to treat that disorder (red), which nursing interventions are appropriate (green), and what the top signs and symptoms are (blue). Here's an example: Because this is a system, it takes a little time to learn, but once you get it down, it becomes a lot easier to find what you're looking for. So if you want to create your own system, I recommend drawing one out, like I've done above, and taping it somewhere obvious so you can look at it every day until it has seeped into your brain so deep, you simply can't forget it. How do you organize, visually? -Jaren

Dear future me, Here is a list of expectations I have as I embark on this 3.5 year Nursing Program. In French, of course. The first semester is going to make or break me. I will spend it focusing on improving my French. My comprehension isn't really a problem, it's the ability to express myself fully and fluidly and with the use of plenty of Quebecisms that I really want to improve. If I can survive the first semester, the rest should be more fun. Because I LOVE studying nursing. I completed half of an 18 month LPN (Licenced Practical Nurse) Program and loved every single minute of it. It was in English, so that helped - but I also met some of the nicest, coolest people in that class, and the teachers? Chef's kiss. I expect I will cook a lot less because I will have less time. I expect my kids will pitch in a heckuva lot more! They're teens. I expect alone time at home will be essential for me not to burn out. And plenty of time with my pets. I expect I will discover a lot of really useful tools and techniques for studying that I will then share with anyone who will listen. I expect that I will keep up my gym game, especially now that I discovered studying on the treadmill is my secret weapon to better recall. The weight-lifting afterward is the cherry on top for my AuDHD brain. I expect I will study a lot more with my kids. Family time will now include study time. yay! I expect I will become a minimalist during these 3.5 years because I will NOT have time to clean, shop, or put shit away and instead will have quarterly melt-downs where I'm too overwhelmed with the amount of shit I'm trying to shove into my brain that the only thing I can control is how much crap I give away. Gosh. That even felt good writing. I expect I will be REALLY annoying to everyone around me who mentions a scraped knee, illness or injury. Because I care. I expect I'll want to throw in the towel and give up a thousand times. I hope I don't. Signed, Jaren of 2026 #audhd #momlife #greatexpectations #nursingschool